MY MEMORIES

Friday, January 16, 2009

ok, here i go!
i'm here.
because i'm pure bored.
come on.
i'm lonely this few days.
can you see why?
well.
let me explain.
andy have to accompany his girlfriend.
xian have to work all day.
jin never onlines more then 1 hour.
alwin don't online often.
well.
all my best friend aren't there for me~
every night.
during this time.
i staring at this screen nothing to do.
in the past, at least got andy to chat with.
and alot more people.
now.
school reopens already.
everyone has to go school.
whose there to pei wo?
argh.
this is sad...

sometimes i went to the windows or door
look outside.
it feels really good.
well.
environment really can calm me down xD
i love sky~ i love sea~ i love ocean.
i love sea breeze.
all this makes me feel so good.
just by looking at them.
makes me feel good.
well.
i wish i can feel the sea breeze again.
u know.
these things always let me think alot of things.
uhm, mostly should be sad things ba.
cause i'm a sad boy.
argh, maybe no one understands either.
what really happened to me every single day.
as you all couldn't be with me 24 hours.
but i'm still wondering.
why so many sad things happen to me.
such a headache....

sometimes.
i think that.
cancer isn't a bad thing if it really can occurs at me.
well.
at least with this few months of living.
the people around me would be extreme nice to me.
i get what ever i wanted.
well.
think about it.
people will start to treat you good.
because they know you are dying soon.
it's so good.
and i can hack care of what will my future be.
and just live the life i want.
and then die off like that.
wow.
isn't it great.
somemore.
i would think.
i can be ever more cheerful then now.
really.
now i have to worry this and that.
learn that i have to die soon.
can make all worries gone.
you know you won't live long.
and hack care what will happen in the days after.
it will go like.
wow!
i wish i can tio one if i can....

by the way.
now that everyone busy with their lives already.
this blog getting dead silence soon too.
no people reading it either.
maybe just few.
ahahahas.
know why my blog before this died?
is because i know no people reading le.
its like i'm posting for nothing already.
ahahahas.
well.
thou i kicked the habit of writing some craps at my handphone.
but i guess.
it's just a way to let my feelings out rather then trapped in my heart.
sharing it with my handphone
hahas..

andy and liyan.
this couple.
i am so envious of them.
i also wish i could have a girl.
which i could get up in the morning.
bring her to school.
now you know why i always sleep for so long?
it's because, i have no idea what i should wake up for.
stare at computer screen?
make my eye spoil?
i rather continue sleep and sleep.
at least time passes by more faster like that.
if can forever don't wake up.
best man.
don't wanna trouble so many things.
hahahas.
well.
did you all notice that i wrote.
should i or should i not.
thats a question i've been asking myself.
well.
did you know what i'm really asking myself about?
it's love.
i wonder whether should i fall in love again?
i'm so worried.
i got so many bad memories of love.
bad impression.
filrts filrts filrts.
the ones i love.
are always people who flirts.
(this is no offence to those people.)
(ask yourself if you are or not.)
(i'm stating only facts.)
i don't wanna get the feel of broken heart anymore.
it hurts alot.
it's painful.
it's something i don't want to feel once again.
no more.
what should i really do.
i've always looking for wrong partners.
it's so scary........

now i not working le.
income has stopped.
but i'm still wasting money.
playing pool.
buying clothes all those.
this saturday have plans on buying shoes with my bro.
this sunday have plans on playing pool with xian they all.
money is another problem.
it's so hard to earn.
it's so easy to spend.
well.
my dream.
create a mmorpg.
which can hit on global.
makes a fortune out of it.
i wonder if i could ever do it.
it looks like such a faraway dream.
a view on it is like a ant.
no matter how much i walked infront.
it's still so small.
it's like infinite miles away.
am i not getting closer?
now.
look at my O level result.
it's in a big mess.
how can i achieve it with this type of result.
even if i could get into the course i wanted.
could i handle it?
would i give up?
even if i can handle it.
could barely create mmorpg.
would it hit on?
would it be even popular in local?
can it even be noticed by outsiders?
faraway dream.
infinite miles.
no matter what i do.
i'm always on the same spot.
i'm ain't moving at all.
thats what i can say.....

i'm so far away.. so far away.... even my love is so far... no matter how it looks.. everything is so far...
my dream.. my love..

`i can never forget that light, of you emits

3:45 AM

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