Drafted at 13/10/10
I don't know why, but those feelings, they just keep growing and growing, till i have no idea how am i going to resist it anymore, any longer.
They just kept flowing out and out.
If you have ever realize, that how hard am i in that position, where i can't do anything.
I can't even show anything, i only could watch everything.
Without any ability to stop what i couldn't like.
I don't know what to do anymore, and that's why i wanted to take a break.
Do you know how much it gonna take me to recover from all these?
although we are not together, but all the hopes you have me, it's gonna build up and build up.
Till one day you gonna break the first piece and the whole block collapsed.
This is where i am now, you're turning those hopes, into false.
That is why, because i hate false hopes.
From the past, i'm a person who thinks a lot, whereby hopes just comes to me too easily.
From there, they became false hope, because they're not there in the first place, it was what people built in me accidentally, without knowing.Because currently, what i get from you, is not just insecure that all only.
It grew you know?
It really grew.
You let me felt that i'm not important, am I?
If i'm important, den are you really should be doing what you've done?
If you really want me, den why are you still being close to him?
You should know, you can't have both of us, you only can have one.
You can't hesitate, because once you do, we're gonna receive more FALSE hope from you.
Not just me, even him.
You do know that whenever you meet him, you given him a hope, a chance to show you that what he can do to make you love him.
And when that happens, i lost a chance, and i can't do anything.
I can't even show you what i can do, isn't it?
That's where the unfairness came in.
Are you being fair to me?
Because why i felt that, i'm being left out throughout.
Just imagine, you gave me hope, you said you loved me.
Yet outside, i could only sit afar from you, refrain from talking to you, refrain my feelings, and i can't refrain him from doing anything to you.
So what am i?
A loner?
I can't do anything.
That is why i'm jealous.
I'm jealous about him.
He has all the chance he want, everyone let him chance to proof, our clique have all already approved the both of you.
But not me, i'm just an extra one out.
When one day, even i'm with you, what will the people think?
Are we not gonna influenced by the outsides?
Sorry, i doubt so.
Because you have no idea how fierce the battle will be when everyone is against you.
I've experienced it before, where all the people are giving the eyes on you.
So did you know why i want to give it a break?
Because time has proved me all these.
I can't take it, i felt so stress all of the sudden.
You're the one being loved, i'm the one loving.
I just have no idea how am i suppose to love you..