Sunday, October 10, 2010
今天不知为什么,我中觉得心里不安,打从下午就有这不安的心情,引向了我一整天。但是又是一种我说不清的感觉,我努力的,尽量说出来,却反复地说了说,答案都不和我心意。我不知道是不是因为你,是不是我真的不想失去你,但是有着预感,我是握不住你的。我也是,慢慢的,对爱情感到恐惧。我不敢再爱了,因为我失去了我所有的勇气,去再次的面对着,这些我无法解决的问题。我问了你,你爱我吗?是因为我需要的是安定,我需要你的承诺,让我对自己,再次有了信心。你却没回答,不管你是有意不回答,或是忘了回答,我的今夜,需要和思想一起睡了。我心里得不到答案,我的心灵就好像失去了它的光芒。就像一只鸟,它失去了翅膀,一棵树,失去了树根,一颗心,失去了灵。我无法真正的用字来形容我现在的感觉,只借用这来帮我簌簌心情。
i really don't know why, i'm feeling so insecure, so unsecured. it feels like everything is pushing me down on the weight. I'm worried that i'm gonna fall to the ground anytime now, i just couldn't get myself right. This is the first time, that my heart feels so heavy, so many things inside, that i could never use words to explain. is it because you're way too important that i can't lose you? You are the girl, that i have found, to be the most right in my life. You are just like my other half. A perfect piece that if i lost you, i would never ever find one again. i have too many ill experiences in my life. That forgetting them is way too hard. They just keep on building scars and scars on my heart, thou they will recover from the injury, but they will leave the scar there forever. These scars, when i saw them, i felt so scared. I don't want the same slash that cut me to cut me once again. If you say you're phobia of r/s, i think now i understand, because right now, I'm feeling damn scared, worried, afraid of everything. I just don't want to lose you. I need you. I'm feeling so uneasy, and i don't know how to cure. I don't want to sleep, because i know my thoughts will bring me to a terrifying place that i would never want to go. I want my path, to be once again, lit up with your lights, that i know, i'll never go wrong again.
`i can never forget that light, of you emits
3:53 AM